How many times a day do you catch yourself saying something or doing something that you would like to take back?
One thing for sure is that I always have a number of things, every single day that I would like to undo. Some of my favorite people to be around since I was a little child were calm, kind and seemed to have a number that was minimal, if not even unnoticeable. I’ve admired people who appear to walk the walk and control the talk, since I was a young girl.
If there is a vice of mine, it would be acting out in action and words in a non violent or threatening way. I tend to act out because I love to make others laugh. I try to make light of most seriousness in life.
When I was age 9 and age 10, I went to a summer camp in the mountains of N.C. with my best friend. She and I were very similar with our tendencies to “act out.” We sure did have a lot of fun though.
Something that I learned after my first year of week long camp, was that there would be an award ceremony on the last night. The counselors of each cabin would pick their “favorite camper,” and she would be given an award at the ceremony. The first year a girl was chosen from my cabin who was quiet, petite, and kind. I don’t recall her having a number at all.
Needless to say, the second year at camp, I tried so hard to be that model camper. I wanted desperately to be the “most liked” camper by the counselors. Of course, we know the counselors shouldn’t have favorites, but it sure did feel like they did.
One thing for sure is that it was a hard model for me to follow. I was the exact opposite of quiet, although I tried my best. I was the opposite of petite. I actually was probably almost as tall as some of the counselors. And if I stood behind a pole, I was out of sight. I was one tall, lanky, awkward “string bean.” There was nothing really cute about me. I did try my hardest to be kind too.
Everything I could do to try and get this award, I tried. I offered to help with everything and went above and beyond to be nice. I gave, and I gave, and I gave.
The final night, we had the ceremony, and again I was overlooked. Regardless of how hard I had tried, I was overlooked for the award of “best camper “ in the cabin again. As a result of my efforts, I went home and slept for about a week, due to the exhaustion from having given my all.
If anyone needs a Savior for redemption of sins, it is me. I’m not alone. I’m thankful Jesus was sent. I can say that I have tried hard and given my all most days, but I still come up short. Maybe I should say that I still have a number every day. And at the end of the day, I’m thankful I can ask for forgiveness and try again tomorrow.
Psalms 19:14
“Let the words of my mouth and meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.”
The desire to try to better oneself is a gift to ourselves and to others. The world is a better place when we are given standards to obtain and strive towards. Bubble wrap, blue ribbons, and “best camper “ awards weren’t intended for all to receive. However, we can wake up every morning with the intent to be good or our best.
Happy Friday Ya’ll!
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