Have you ever had someone you loved leave you through death?
If you've had someone you loved die, then you have had the privilege to know love. With that privilege can follow pain from loss. The loss of not getting to hear their voice again. The loss of not being able to pick up the phone and call them or visit them. The loss of knowing they are there if you need them or just knowing they are walking through this day, just like you.
That pain can be temporary if you hold on more strongly to the love that you were blessed with in this life by having them with you for the number or days or years you were blessed with having them in your life. Not to say, that grief won't follow their departure from this world. Not to say that grief won't creep up from time to time, but to know you have had such a love is truly a gift.
One of my close friends passed away last week. She was someone who had a lot of the same likes and passions as I do. Although after talking with several of our friends that we had in common, they say the same thing. She is someone who had the gift of making everyone feel loved and seen. She remembered stories and reflected on them when we were together or over the phone, which connected us through laughter and joyful memories.
One story that a few of us reflected on last week, was somewhat of a party ritual that would happen late night at her house many many weekends while we were in college. She had a song that she created her own dance to. Every time this song came on, she would do her dance. The song was, "The Devil Went Down to Georgia." We all would get excited and gear up for the playing of this song because it was so joyful to watch her do her dance to the entire song. The dance moves might even be recognizable to others, somewhat of a hoe-down dance with arms simultaneously pumping up and down in the middle of her slight body, her knees bouncing freely in conjunction with each other as she jumped off the floor to the music. She would also incorporate observers into her dance during the instrumental interludes, swinging by the elbow joined with a friend, all the while everyone had smiles that filled their entire faces. So much joy, laughter, and freedom to have fun was what I believe so many of her friends felt. This was a deep-seated emotion of love and joy that connected us through our 30+ years of friendship.
When I got sick, and believed my time was short on this earth, she was there for me. I was able to be honest with her that I really didn't want to focus on how I felt, because it was pretty standard every day. Plus, that is not where I wanted my focus to be. She honored my wish. We connected through laughter and humor always. She was always there to bend an ear to talk about life, religion, politics, our loved ones and our pets.
She was someone that was creative and smart and always introduced me to new things, which I liked. She gave some of the best advice when I was raising my kids. She also spoiled and pampered me when I would go to see her when my kids were young. Her friendship literally made me a better daughter, wife, mother and friend. What IS NOT amazing about that?
Her life and friendship blessed me, and I am forever grateful that God put her in my life. The love that she shared with all of her family. She and her sister, Gretchen had such a special relationship that I admired and desired. She shared stories with me about Gretchen often, and most of them relayed her pride in having her for a sister. She also told me about many hilarious shenanigans with Gretchen or a day in the life of... Gretchen. She was her first love aside from her parents.
She also shared so much love for her Mom and Dad, especially the special bond she had with her Dad. She was always so open with talking about her love for others. It was such a great honor to be with her the day she married her forever, Bill. Every one of her friends holds a special place in their hearts for Heather. We have all felt her love, and what a gift that was to all of us.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother/sister is born for a time of adversity.”
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