How much is too much?
On Friday I shared my experience at summer camp from my youth. I gave to the point of exhaustion because I wanted to be recognized as the camper of the week. Giving can be a blessing to both you and to others. However, there is a point where we can give too much of oursleves. We can compromised our own bodies and needs. This is unhealthy.
Ultimately, we are all called to rely on God for most of our support and companionship. There are times where we will have needs for sure. The need to give to be noticed or seen is unhealthy.
I recall my Grandma in her later years when we would go to stay with her in the summer times. She was in pain every day with her knee and also her arthritis in her hands and other joints. She also had respiratory issues that she battled most of her life from childhood through adulthood. She was a faithful woman and had a strong relationship with God. I don't really recall her talking about God much, but I do recall her leading by example.
My Grandma was an impressive woman. She never complained, that I heard. She went to church religiously and confession. She prayed the Rosary. She also prayed from prayer cards she would bring home from church. She lived in a very modest home and wanted for nothing, and loved spending time with family. She had a great laugh, and I loved our talks. Oftentimes these talks took place in her kitchen either while she leaned on the counter, eating, or around her table. Her kitchen was smaller than my current bathroom. I never once heard her complain that it was too crowded or wasn't good enough. She would simply have us go outside if she was busy in her space.
The times and memories I have with my Grandma are very special to me. I love the memory of sitting at her kitchen table and making circus animals out of playdough. She always made me feel completely and unconditionally loved. I felt seen by her, and I felt heard by her.
This feeling of love is a love that I believe Jesus also has allowed me to feel over the past 8 years, when I have become mostly reliant on Him to endure my daily physical pain. I have been blessed during this time to know that I am completely worthy of love without giving of myself to the point of exhaustion. I no longer have to do or be a certain way to feel that I am enough. I am not my accomplishments or my belongings. I'm not my talents nor my decor. My home, my car, my looks, my location, my friends, my family are not who define me. I am a child of God. This really is the most important thing.
I'm thankful that my Grandma was my grand role model. I am reminded of the importance of loving others well. She was able to be this example for me, and I am grateful.
1 Corinthians 13: 11- 13
"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man (woman), I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is LOVE."
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