In the face of adversity where do you turn?
Last night I decided to watch a movie I had seen advertised called The Iron Claw. It was based on a true story of one of the greatest families WWF wrestling has ever seen. Although they achieved greatness, the family suffered immeasurable loss of love and life.
The Father figure was very intense and pushed all of his boys. I would say it was extreme and emotions were not allowed to be expressed. The Mother figure had a desire to go to church and almost avoid emotions as much as the Father by hiding behind God. She did not connect with her boys or acknowledge their feelings, at least what was portrayed in the movie.
This movie reminded me that we have all experienced loss. Hopefully not to this extreme, but many have. Sometimes pain can be so intense that we don’t know how we will rise up from it. Although God is there for us if we turn to Him, so often individuals in pain don’t. There are so many vices that people turn to first to try and cope: friends, drinking, drugs, food, sex, shopping, and many many more unhealthy choices are made to avoid the pain. As a human, I cannot deny that I tried many of these unhealthy coping mechanisms. Ultimately, each one of us must surrender and rely on something that totally transcends anything that seems natural.
The idea of recovering from these great tragedies requires a faith in a God who has promised to never leave us, nor forsake us. Understandably, it takes a lot of self- help and self- care to help overcome fear of the unknown and accept that we are worthy of better choices and the life God has laid out for us.
God did not say that we wouldn’t have to do hard things. One of His commandments is to love your enemy. That in and of itself seems to transcend the natural desire of humans. Even when my daughter was a child and someone hurt her, her famous line was, “I want to punch ‘em in the face.”
Sometimes these valleys that we learn to climb out of help us to reach the peak that God intended for us. We also are able to use the knowledge and wisdom we gain in those valleys to support and love and walk alongside others when they are in the valley.
We are not able to rescue or erase the pain for those in the valley, but we can relate. We can reassure them that they can make it out, if you did. The truth is that each individual has to do the work to pull themselves up.
After I had been too sick to follow through with my pre-requisite of Anatomy and Physiology for nursing school, I dropped the course and made myself take it the next semester. I would say a fair comparison to the start of each of my days was comparable to having a bad case of the flu; weak, often dizzy and brain fog, everyday for years and into the present.
I learned early on that it was better to keep my suffering to myself to try and live each and every day with a focus on what I wanted to focus on, not what others would want to impart on me. Sometimes keeping your struggles out of the forefront of your day when interacting with others allows focus on the intended goals you have set forth.
My goal has been to be present in the day and focus on the goodness of each and every gifted day. Honestly I have felt like any of these days could be my last. I have literally adopted the mindset of what would you want to do if you knew it was your last day on earth. This helps you want to make each day a good one.
Every morning while driving the 25 minutes to campus, I would express gratitude for every little and wonderful gift that I could either see, feel, hear or a simple daily routine task. This routine helped me establish a new mindset to focus on gratitude. My focus was on the goodness. When a bad or negative thought popped into my head, I would refocus on the goodness all around me.
Making the healthy choices to set up your path in life to be a positive experience can change your life for the better. Most individuals are not able to do this alone, and join support groups, church groups and others professional organizations. I have had my own professionals for support as well, and lots of prayer and scripture digestion. Whichever healthy choice you make to climb out of the valley is the way to living the life God intended for you.
Jeremiah 29: 11- 13
11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
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