Are you able to push forward when you are in pain?
This has been a week that started with emotional pain in conjunction with physical pain. Last Thursday my back started to scream at me. The pain could be related to the emotional pain and push back for not wanting to acknowledge that my dear friend was no longer with us. It's so hard for me to "Celebrate Life," when that person I loved to celebrate with is no longer here. By the time I returned home on Sunday, my back pain made it very hard to move around. I took a hot bath and got in bed to rest and recover.
When I awoke on Monday, the pain had not subsided, and made it very hard for me to move around. I decided to ice and stay reclined most of the day. By Tuesday, the pain had not relieved at all and my muscles were cramping which left me very uncomfortable. I decided to stretch and go for a walk, since the sitting hadn't done what I wanted it to do. While I was walking, I would stop and stretch. As I was stretching at one stop, I saw a woman approaching in the distance. My eyes were not able to make out the figure, but as she approached, I could see that it was my long time friend. I have known her since I was 10 years old, and we use to ride in swim carpool together every day, sometimes twice a day through high school. We hugged and then walked together for about a mile. While we walked, we collaborated with one another regarding her current situation of the daunting process of her 20+ years of marriage coming to an end. It is because we love that we endure pain.
After returning home, I experienced more challenges healthwise. I was brought back to my college days when I use to experience severe colon cramping following every race starting mid season of my Junior year in college. These cramps were so severe that I would spike a fever, and have diarrhea and nausea. TMI, I know, but just trying to relay the pain level. I experienced these same events Tuesday.
I'm not sure why I continued to compete after these episodes started, other than I loved my teammates and did not want to let them down. In addition, I had torn a tendon in my left wrist in December of my junior year. I trained with a cast on during practice, and I would take it off for meets and apply tape to keep the tendon in place. I had surgery after the season to repair the tear. If I had not persevered through the pain, I would have missed out on some of my best memories and greatest accomplishments in my swimming career.
Our relay, comprised of three amazing women; Melissa Douse, Jenny Huber and Sarah Perroni, went on to place 4th in the 200 Freestyle relay and 5th in the 400 Freestyle relay at NCAAs in 1990, my junior year. In 1991, our 400 freestyle relay, all the same women, had achieved the top rank in the country in December of my senior year. This year started with our fastest relay teammate falling out of her loft and breaking her elbow. She had surgery where they placed screws to help hold her bones together and aid in healing. She was back in the water after 3 weeks kicking with a kick board. She was determined to be there for us, for the same reason, love. Love is the greatest gift which often times accompanies or super-cedes pain.
We went on to place 9th in the 400 freestyle relay that year, after a not so great morning swim. We were in the first heat of the morning, and we were not prepared (that is for another blog). Therefore, we did not post a fast enough time to qualify and compete in the top 8 finals that night. Our 200 freestyle relay finished 6th my senior year. These All- American achievements my junior and senior years made all of the sacrifices in my lifetime for the sport I loved, so worth the pain and tears.
My friend Heather also sacrificed out of love for her teammates my junior year in college. She competed on the 10 meter tower at NCAAs to help UNC advance to a 10th place finish. UNC did not have a 10 meter tower to practice on daily, like the other board events. Heather placed 10th overall while completing all of her dives from the 10 meter platform. She overcame her fear of heights out of love, and I’m sure those high speed impacts on the water from 10 meters up included some pain.
The call to keep moving and pushing through the pain is something I have learned to master in my lifetime. This has created a character in me that does not give up. I believe that this is why I like to encourage others while they are enduring struggles. My ability to love others has been gifted me from God, and hopefully I am using that gift as He desires me to call others to love and seek Him.
God does not want us to give up. In addition, He commanded us to love others. He wants us to push toward the finish line to reap the greatest reward which is eternal; peace and love with Him.
Paul wrote of pressing toward the goal so beautifully in Phillipians 3: 12- 14
"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
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