Do you feel at peace with family?
We just got back from a fun-filled four days with the Benda clan for a family reunion with some 43 family members. It was great seeing my dad's brother's families; their kids, and grandkids. Having three days packed with activities and lots of little kids and trying to coordinate schedules can leave you feeling a little out of sorts and can alter your personality a bit. It is hard for me to stay at peace, while focusing outwardly on others, and when I do not incorporate time in my day for connecting with God.
After having been married for over 30 years, I have a fresh perspective on the truth that all families are different. The family that I grew up in is very different from the family my husband grew up within. Although they are both loving families with a core value and successful marriages of over 60 years, the family dynamics are different.
All sorts of things can effect the family dynamic. The number of people in a family can impact a family. The personalities in a family impact the family. The head of household also plays a major role in how the family interracts.
The job of the family leader, the one who coordinates and moves family members in the direction that accomplishes the task at hand, is an important role. It is also a role that God assigned to the man of the house. Although, in our society, where families tend to be in constant motion, often times the Mom has to fill this role. As a Mother at my age, I do see the impact of having been the leader for much of my children's lives. My children do display resentment toward me at times, which I believe is more avoidable if the man of the house is in this role.
Aside from these insights of the quick gathering of many families, it was fun to see all my younger cousins interacting and parenting their small children. All the parents provided a lot of love and support, and yet each family had a different parenting style.
Love was a common denominator in each family. I believe that love is necessary for families to work and succeed. The amount of money or gifts given to children does not typically lead to success. And yet, the world has placed a strong emphasis on material presents, over "love and presence" in the family.
I will say that I was not the representation of my best self at all times in this large family packed environment. In large settings, I do find it hard not to joke and live out of context, which leaves me not always feeling good about things I have said or interactions I may have had with others. At the ripe old age of 55, I am learning to let go more quickly, of these errors in my personal omissions and remind myself, that we are all human and that no one is perfect. It is always so upsetting when I do find myself falling into influences by surrounds and others, as opposed to living as the person I aim to be on a day to day basis. These pressures that I feel in a large group setting, even with family, is also probably magnified on those who are in the limelight all the time: politicians, movie stars, tv personalities, etc.
Daily reminders, through reading the Bible, to follow God's commandments are necessary to redirect each and everyone of us to live a life full of peace with one another. This also allows us to retain a status of love and compassion for all the people in our lives. It is no wonder that God's greatest commandment is to love others. Love covers a multitude of sins. And love is the only thing that we can take with us or leave behind when we part this life.
Proverbs 10: 12
"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins."
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