Do you feel that submitting is relinquishing your rights and freedom as a human being?
So many individuals are turned off by the word "submit." I must say as a young woman in my 30's, I was faced with the understanding and acceptance of submitting to my husband, as not a demeaning reference or connotation. During one of the most challenging battles to save my daughter's life, I did just that. I questioned my husband, and I listened to his response. If I had not submitted in this circumstance, my daughter would not have survived or lived the amazing life that God bestowed on her.
When Grace was 9 months old we lived through a frightening incident. I was inspired to write and share our scary story of Grace's choking which lasted for almost 3 weeks. We were packing up to leave the beach, and my brother and his wife were upstairs with the kids when I heard the sound of gasping for air. I dashed up the stair and saw my brother giving my sweet baby Grace the heimlich. I reached for her and quickly began to administer the heimlich on her. I stopped and turned her over to look into her face, and she was blue. We were all gathered around her, and I said out loud, should we try to give her a tracheotomy (like we have seen so many times on tv shows and movies). My husband said, "No," and I heard him. I told my brother's wife to call 911. I proceeded to try and expel the obstructed object from Grace's little body. And then I took her under my arm and ran down the two flights of stairs, of our rented beach house to the driveway. Walking towards me was a tall, dark skinned police officer. I was still moving quickly towards him as I extended my arms and my precious baby girl Grace, hopeful that he could intercede and restore color to her little face. I don't recall if I said anything to this stranger, but I think I said, “she’s choking.” He took Grace, knelt down, and placed her across his knee. I dropped to my knees, and prayed that God would say my baby. (Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my younger brother, whom I love dearly, walking down the driveway of the house opposite us where he was staying). I prayed on my knees in the driveway out in the open, that God please save Grace's life. I heard the officer speak. He said, "She's breathing." I remember looking at the officer directly in front of me, who was now holding Grace and looking into her face. The EMS was now approaching us. This incident is etched in my mind. I did leave out a few details while we were upstairs. No individual, who wasn't present that day, can understand that the recollection of this incident still evokes a stress response of adrenaline flowing throughout my body. Although, if you have endured an extraordinary event in your life, you are familiar with how the details become etched into your memory, like no other day.
This incident lasted almost 3 weeks from this day. The details from the days between this incident and leading up to the surgery, I will skip, as we were all in survival mode. However, on a Thursday morning, the ENT Doctor, who had admonished us against scoping our daughter 2.5 weeks prior, was now walking towards us in the waiting room, following his surgery on Grace, holding a small container. He said, "She has been a bad girl. She aspirated this piece of plastic. It completely blocked her trachea. I took a picture of it with the scope, when I was in there. It's a miracle that she lived through this incident. It was located in the bronchia, at the top of her lungs (where the two are joined with an inverted- V). It is also a miracle that she lived with it inside her body for 3 weeks." I do believe these are almost the exact words the Doctor spoke following the surgery. Little did he know that while my Mom, and her prayer warriors, prayed during these long grueling days prior to this surgery, I would carry Grace around or sit her strapped in her car seat, and sleep with her in the crook of my arm at night, so that her head was above her lungs. Otherwise, a horrifying wheezing sound expelled from her little body, and she was not able to pull air into her tiny lungs.
I felt compelled to share this story with other mom’s and grandmother’s to create awareness for the importance of equipping all parents to learn CPR. I prepared a detailed speech, which recounted this incident, and delivered it in the large sanctuary of the church where my group of Bible Study women met weekly. A woman, wife, and mother approached me afterwards. She said to me, I'm paraphrasing, "This is a real story of why wives are to submit to their husbands. It's a good thing that you submitted." I had not even realized that this was revealed in what I had written or spoken that day, or that I had indeed submitted to my husband. This detail did not stand out to me, and it was not my motivation for sharing this story. However, a woman, I'm not sure I had spoken with on another occasion, was meant to highlight this fact to me. I had revealed in my speech that I had told the Doctor that I questioned giving Grace a trache when I saw that she was blue, and he said that it would have killed her.
As a strong independent woman, I'm not sure I really liked this request of "wives submitting to their husbands," documented in the Bible. Thankfully, in a critical moment that saved my daughter's life, I adhered and submitted to my husband. This moment, in a safe place, where a safe woman approached me and highlighted the importance of submitting to my husband, has allowed me to swallow my pride and respect my husband's voice on several occasions throughout our marriage. Following God's commands and His guidance, not only blessed us with the gift of watching our daughter Grace thrive and live past this event, but has also blessed us with a marriage that has been faithful and full of love, a true gift.
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies, he who loves his wife loves himself."
-Ephesians 5: 22- 28
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